This is scary. As I work my way through my lovely treaclesque tome on Operating Systems I'm looking at some rough study notes from last year, and I can't remember having scrawled them. If they weren't in my handwriting, I'd have thought I had someone else's work.
Based on current workload, my solution to the dining philosopher problem would be this: let some hard-core types burst into the restaurant, mow the philosophers down mob-execution style, then go out for pizza. That'll teach them.