the corner office : Performance anxiety

Performance anxiety

I plopped my blog down onto the WWW 2 days ago. I haven't told anyone about it yet, and instead of actively promoting my site (yeah right), I've been tweaking and retweaking much of what's already there, steadfastly avoiding taking the final plunge and announcing myself to the world.

I have a zillion posts from the last 3 months to push live, and I'm going to start doing that tomorrow. But knowing that I'm "out there", has me jittery about adding new posts, since now there's no turning back if I publish an utterly crap entry. Don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to win a popularity contest. Indifference on average with the occasional reader suits me fine. It's outright and unequivocal rejection that I fear the most.

What if people get tired of my waffle and saying unflattering things about me everywhere? What if my opinions are so unpopular I get dead frogs in the mail? What if I post technical things and everybody thinks I'm an idiot who shouldn't be allowed near computers? What if my blog goes down like a Verisign marketing stunt, and the Net rises en masse and starts patching DNS servers to spare the world from my feeble blogging attempts?? What if, what if, what if?

I hope this doesn't turn into writer's block or anything. It's one thing to sling posts into a private journal, another to open oneself up to public scrutiny, and the ever-present risk of sheer, crushing, unforgiving, cold embarassment and rejection by one's peers. All of a sudden I have a lot of respect for my koff fellow bloggers.

As with most ventures in life, the same old good advice probably applies... just be yourself, treat others with respect, wear clean underwear at all times... but with the exception of the underwear thing, the other advice is never really comforting...

On second thoughts, I'm already rambling on as usual... I'm sure I'll be OK :-)

{2003.10.04 23:55}

Comments:

1. Ben Poole (2003.10.05 - 21:43) #

Skip the underwear entirely, it saves a whole lot of heart-ache later.<br><br>Doh, too much information. Welcome sir! Great lokking site, and I'm looking forward to plenty of reads!

2. Rock (2003.10.05 - 23:49) #

Hey Colin, you're going to do just fine - I already am enjoying what you've written thus far (including learning more about you!).

I have announced your existence on my blog, and have added you to my blogroll - hopefully that'll get you a few more readers ;)

Welcome!

Rock
LotusGeek.com

3. Colin (2003.10.06 - 00:33) #

Thanks guys, I appreciate it. I hope I don't disappoint (I have some tough acts to follow) :)

4. Thomas Duff (2003.10.06 - 01:32) #

Add in another regular reader... I've been hoping you'd move into the blogging world as I've enjoyed your comments on other blogs. I look forward to reading your ramblings.

5. Ben Langhinrichs (2003.10.06 - 04:53) #

Welcome! Look forward to reading your past and future posts.

6. Joe Litton (2003.10.06 - 05:21) #

I've been appreciating the comments you've been adding at various sites - looking forward to reading the site. Found ya via Rocky's post. As we each add you to our blogrolls you should be able to expect plenty of global harassment :-)

7. Mike Golding (2003.10.06 - 12:51) #

Your fellow bloggers should be worried that you are going to overshadow them rather than undershadow yourself. I'm worried already ;-) Good luck

8. Colin (2003.10.06 - 13:41) #

Thanks Mike (and others) - I don't think you have to worry about that :)

9. jonvon (2003.10.06 - 19:34) #

dude! welcome to the old blogosphere!!! so cool!

i was in training class last week and i'm still catching up. everyone is so busy typing little characters into funny little boxes onscreen all over the world and pushing Save and Submit buttons! i have a hard time reading them all!

well anyway, thank god you finally started blogging! everytime you commented anywhere i was like, where's the blog already!

thanks for the link. i shall return the honor soon. i've got a few to put up... as usual.

:-)

oh yeah, i have to laugh at the New Blogger Anxiety (NBA - everyone keeps thinking that acronym has something to do with basketball)... yes, i had that in spades. still worry over ALL that stuff, but for some reason i keep hitting Submit. no idea why.

10. Colin (2003.10.07 - 03:22) #

On the one hand, it feels like slinging up a few comments for a small crowd of folks, but there's also this thing in the back of my mind telling me that potentially millions of people could pop in and take a squizz at my life. That *is* a bit of a mind-bender, but I'm still posting away! :)